Author Archives: heidi

Autumn beneath my feet, I am alive aware, just like before, before the children when I could walk each step measured planned, keeping time to the beat of a single drum (years of off-beats stretch between now and then) At … Continue reading →

This poem, that is not mine, hovers like a ghost. Only when I close my eyes do I remember she is near, waiting. I am busy. I am tired. I am immersed in doing, silent, a growing ache expanding in … Continue reading →

Hi Friends, I thought now would be a good time to share family news. I figure, why wait for a Holiday when every day is potentially special and relevant. On Saturday, D, eleven, learned how to finger knit. Since then … Continue reading →

  While shopping at Target a few nights ago, my son and I passed the same couple every few minutes, and each time we saw them I was moved nearly to tears. I’m writing today to try and sort out … Continue reading →

Uncertainty in the details, uncertainty in the future becoming comfortable with the not knowing that is my work. I have never known, but the illusion has vanished The present demands my attention if I am to be happy, content, creative … Continue reading →

I’ve heard people say debting and spending are not real addictions. If the debtor believes someone, somewhere will take care of her no matter what she chooses to do with her money, even after every living room she has access … Continue reading →

We’re completely moved out of our house. In a couple hours, another family will turn a key, open the heavy blue door, and begin carrying their boxes and furniture inside. Our house is now their home. Strange, but wonderful. A … Continue reading →

Dear Love of My Life, You already know how it goes. This is where I fall apart, just as the reality of our efforts begins to bear fruit. I’m all warrior-like and together in the planning stages and in the … Continue reading →

  Windows shades drawn around reverent space I could dwell here forever alone, silent geese fly overhead, I hear the familiar call picture their perfect V formation In shadow mind, I wonder when the spell will break and in that … Continue reading →

The thing about recovery (ongoing) from addiction is that I live three lives. Before screwing my life up, during the downward spiral, and now, when my life looks so together (and truly is happy and beautiful beyond measure), only my … Continue reading →