so we wait

I keep company with what I know
I cannot predict or control.
Every second for sure, but I forget,

My reaction, my intention, my hopes, yes,
but nothing else.

I check as if reading a thermometer.
More energy today mom?
How’s your appetite?

She finally asks me to stop.
It matters though,
this false sense of knowing a thing, as if…
I knew the future.

We are quieter together,
very much ourselves,
a walking patience.

Cancer grows or shrinks beyond
what we can measure day by day,
beyond what we understand,
so we wait.

I had no idea I could feel quiet
in the visible presence of uncertainty.

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