Day 21 – Positive Journaling

At bed time last night, the older kid said I’m always either “getting things done” or on my laptop. He has a point. Since we’ve returned to Illinois to help my mom while she does what she can figure out to (God willing) clear her body of cancer, I have been task, sanity, pace, and keep-everyone-fed-bathed-and-happy oriented. Not a lot of time for building train tracks or Lego structures, stuff I’m not that into or good at when all is leisure.

I have had time in the last week, but I’m in the habit of watching the boys play while I sit very quietly between dutiful doings. He helped me see this truth. We talk, laugh, pray in the morning, and I read to them each night. So I must have been pondering this how-is-time-spent matter in my sleep. I woke up with an awareness rather than a plan, a soft-spoken decision to make an effort to do more with my children.

On the way home from the health food co-op this afternoon, I asked who wanted to help me make brownies when we got home. Both boys piped up with enthusiastic yeses. Baking with little hands is not my idea of fun, or rather I dread the effort it takes to be patient with their talkative messiness, but brownies are easy, and involve a hand mixer, which I knew my older son would enjoy.

Once home, only older brother helped. I have a feeling little brother welcomed time to play exactly “his way.” We talked, kept up a silly banter, and made flourless almond-butter brownies. The sweet grin on my osn’s face while he carefully cracked eggs lifted my spirit. His willingness to listen before diving into each next task showed me he has matured.

The brownies are excellent.

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