Two days at home and I realized I wasn’t ready to be on my own so much, so now I’m back at Heidi’s home. She thinks I should stay here until the surgical collar is discarded. I don’t know exactly what the problem was but I felt so depressed at my house, maybe because I was alone too much and couldn’t do normal household things. Seems I need more caretaking than I thought, because without help all I did was sleep.
Friends, I’m feeling kind of low right now, need prayers for the healing of my spirit as much, maybe more, than physical healing. My life seems so upside down and backwards and it’s hard to imagine it will ever be back to any kind of normal. I ask God to show me His will, whatever it is, and try to be ready to accept the answer.
I’ll post another update after I see my oncologist on Wednesday. Hoping to learn what has been happening to the rest of the cancer in my body while I was taking a break from treatment and dealing with the neck problem.
Many many many thanks for everyone’s support and love and prayers.
Helen
My experience on pain medication reflects your thoughts, Helen. There was one day I could not get out of bed! I called Carl on my cell-to his cell. He came down stairs to lay next to me and hold me. My doctor said it was not the Rx (after the fact, and I was off them), but my daughter (who plays a doctor on the computer), told Carl to get me off them, if at all possible. I quite them cold turkey, and went to an non-narcotic pill.
I know that may not be possible for you right now – but know it may not be YOU, it may be something you are taking, and your body healing! big hugs, j
I’m saying the Long Healing Prayer every day during the Fast and including your name in the list of recipients. If I could send you something, it would be the fragrance of lilacs, which I always associate with my walk back to the dorm from your apartment in Bloomington on warm spring nights after a fireside.
I really enjoyed visiting with you at the Ayyam-i-ha party, and taking you home was my pleasure. You are a wonderful spirited person. Sorry to hear you’re feeling low, but what Janet says about pain meds is true. The fact that you wanted to try to be independent shows how determined you are to be well. The fact that you returned to Heidi shows you are wise enough to know when you need help. Just focus on what you can do and not what you can’t, what you love, whom you love, not what you can’t do or what the cancer is doing. Say nice things about yourself. You are doing fine; the best you can under the circumstances. With prayer, and time you may or may not be physically healed, but you will be stronger and spiritually healed. God loves you and must think you can handle this test, so you are getting it. There was a book that Shirley Tewes once told me about that she really liked. The title was, ” Now that I have Cancer, I am Healed.” If you haven’t read it already, perhaps it would be helpful.
These comment spaces are really small, and I didn’t get to say all I wanted to. If you need to sleep, do it-that is when the body does most of it’s healing. Could you look at all that time you spent sleeping as extra healing time? I also wanted to say you are daily in my thoughts and prayers and in the prayers every time the friends meet. Are you keeping up the creative writing? It might be the catharsis you need. And you are very good at it. Love, Mickey
Also, what you are feeling sounds very normal to me. Anyone facing what you are facing would feel the same. I’m glad you can share those feelings. A shared burden is much lighter to bear, and many friends want to share it with you. I know God hears you and will help you. Love Mickey