Giving up caffeinated coffee

I stopped over 8 years ago. In the sweet haze of first thoughts when the sun was new, bright and peaking through our black curtains decorated with jungle animals, an insight washed over me. This particular morning it was in words. First thing upon waking I often realize important things easily, as if all along I’ve known and now it’s just so simple, a matter of course. Sometimes the knowing comes in images, faces of friends, a vision of what should be. Other times in a prayer or verse of Baha’i Writings to a kind melody, a deep peace. This day my thoughts conversed. “If you’re going to keep nursing Devyn, you should give up caffeine.” “That’s true, it can’t really be good for him, even the one cup I drink each morning.” So that was that. Weaning Devyn for good coffee wasn’t a reasonable trade off in my mind so the decision was made and firm that quick.
A certain detail here should not be left out. At the time I drank one cup of coffee a day, first thing after morning prayers. This was a beautiful cup of coffee. We had a drip/espresso maker so…as I had, for years, brewed my coffee with double grounds, that’s what I still did at the time. Then I added to this a single shot of espresso, then heavy whipping cream. Perfect! That was my one cup. 3 cups in one mug actually, but I didn’t think about it at all. The nursing video at the Health Dept said I could have that one cup and my baby would be fine.
In reality he was fine. I’d avoided caffeine through the whole pregnancy and never deviated from the one cup rule since he was born. But here now was this clear directive from me to me and I listened. For the next 3 days, Devyn and I slept. We got up for meals and for a bit of play, but we were both sleepy and slow. Fortunately for all of us, I didn’t experience withdrawal headaches. After our days of sleepiness and long naps, Devyn was back to his incredibly energetic playful self. Still, those 3 days were all the memory I needed if I ever was tempted to drink another yummy cup of regular Joe during the time he nursed. By the time he stopped, Matthew was born and happily nursing and I had lost the desire to experience the caffeine type energy. In fact, it began to seem undesirable and still does.
If only there was a way to enjoy the wonderful, rich, creamy taste of coffee the way I used to make it, with no consequences. Oh well, there’s always dark chocolate 😉