I Knew

from the bedroom you trotted
big green
with satiny edges
trailing behind
right hand
pounding your breast
“nuss, nuss!”
auburn curls flying
in from the kitchen
i handed off tending
brown rice, tvp
(another small voice request)
we met
in grandma’s lopsided recliner
up you climbed
never one to
settle quietly
gaze in my eyes
once latched
your feet began
to walk
along the chair
beside my head
until you were nearly
feet up vertical
holding you steady
down you eased
back into my arms
but only for a moment
small feet must rise
I thought
not knowing yet
how unique
the one I called son
every muscle within
your tiny frame
on assignment
given by a drive
we would later know
your need to create
in whatever sphere
of mundanity
you entered
when on first crawl
across our dining room
how you went
straight for the table
weaved your limbs
in and out
through low steadying bars
one chair
at a time
until the circuit was complete
I may have known
but mothers of the first
know anything
baby does is babies
until they meet
infant sibling
one who studies the air
he greets at dark morning
seconds after
his first breath
eyes looking first to east
then west
every inch of newly
emerged form
serene
cradled in mom’s arms
then I knew again
when only one month new
your brother
studied faces so intently
from a nearly unmoving frame
others squirmed
tried to make light
feeling as if
their soul
had been inspected
by new gray eyes
I sensed their discomfort
awe and delight
all at once
when
as i held brother
my body barely
holding on
wondering how
one finds strength
to navigate
early years
up you jumped
a silly face
not for me
and earned
brother’s first wide
toothless smile
I knew we were all
in love