listening/traces of now

it’s not much, this slow motion dance after first snow
under blankets, letting Wailin’ Jenny’s wrap around my shoulders
daddy asleep or reading quiet in our bedroom
let me sleep four hours earlier
I sit, listening to children braille late evening, put away clothes
replay movies around the house made on dad’s phone
I hear giggles from a little one who loves his family
wants to hug us all the time
vaguely I desire chocolate
prayer
another nap
to work on a piece about living in a hotel
when I gave birth to our second son
hot decaf with eggnog
it’s none and all of this I want
D’s theater teacher spent the afternoon here
going over lines and singing songs
(I love hearing their voices together)
tasting cheese cake batter, eating cookies, playing Pokemon
I want a clean house
every corner swept, dish put away, cloth managed
every piece in it’s place
a meditation carrying me on velvet wings of half knowing, not probing
letting be
life should be as beautiful as my vision for it
or nearly so
a steady trot of effort brings us closer even now
I am patient
their harmony settle like morning dew on my eyelashes
I want to wait to write
until my mind will give what my heart offers
still I call aloud
when I reach for you, we’re passing by as strangers
who’ve known each other since eternity began
when you smile in return
I wonder if you know too
every one of us