Try Again

I started this in an open office document, to be safe. I thought I was saving a partial draft and blip, it disappeared into a mysterious corner of my computer from where it may never emerge. It’s not in documents or the desk top. It had no title.
I wrote that I want to help change the world for the better through love and fellowship over good food. And that I hate messes.
Then I compared the anxious self pity I’ve been stuck in for a few weeks to a squirrel I saw in a trap tonight. Poor thing had no idea what happened after he dove in for an easy snack. He desparately crashed against the walls, shoving his nose through metal wire squares. It’s useless. He has to wait for a human to free him in the morning. He’ll end up far away from the building where he and many of his friends have been having a party and making home in the roof.
I went on to explain that I’ve been passively waiting for wonderful to fling open the doors of my home, put on a grand show and introduce me to fascinating, humorous, lively and friendly.
I told how the reminder fairy nuzzled in close to my rational mind and whispered the obvious. She said I first had to let loving, considerate, generous and happy out to play even though they’re scared of bullies.
Then I shared the good part. I told how I picked myself up from my soft low white chair, walked to the kitchen and made carrot, apple, raisin muffins so I can take some to our new next door neighbor tomorrow afternoon.
That’s as far as I got. That’s enough.