Author Archives: heidi

The computer is a lap ornament. I got the first-line blues, a craving for banana bread and a yearn for some less tangible sweet. Sweet like the opposite of dealing with deception, sweet like father and sons shooting hoops in … Continue reading →

I’m ready, though I know it will never be easy. Reliving heartache, recreating hell. In it, I will see a tapestry of answered prayers, even as I saw them then, through tears, clenched teeth, blinding shame. Going back word by … Continue reading →

After living in the RV for three months in Illinois about ten miles from our secured-to-the-ground-house which is now rented out to another family, we headed south west. Our first brief settling place was the KOA in Springfield MO, an … Continue reading →

Speaking the language of the djembe, learning how to play guitar, and becoming fluent in ASL are all good goals, but they are future-stuff (hopefully near), and I’m not yet very good at any of them. Whereas it finally hit … Continue reading →

there’s little to say before midnight. i could speak if you were here. we would play chess until clouds began to race over a sky-high moon, and we stop to lay beneath the stars and whisper, isn’t it amazing

I like a cool-weather, sunshine-bathed morning, slowly drinking steamy dark roast, each sip a prayer, Thank You Writing and blanket-washing top today’s agenda though comforters can wait until tomorrow if my pen hits a hot streak and takes me home … Continue reading →

It’s hard to write when I’m lonely, when I don’t know what I’m waiting for and Christmas music reminds me we are enveloped in the Spirit world, a complex structure of particles too small to eyewitness individually, but I’m sure … Continue reading →

Too much, she said, just now I could split down the middle, a clean line, like I used to imagine, each part falling onto the sand, no blood, no pain, my body as cardboard in a vast nothing, simply watching … Continue reading →

I keep picturing carrots, shredded in the food processor, added to the batter, cake in the oven, then I see myself enjoying a piece of cake with hot coffee, a sunny afternoon just right for this moment. I imagine going … Continue reading →

Dusk creeps through, a haze over day, casting shadows into the living room. I haven’t moved much since waking, my body letting go of unused materials it creates every month just in case another baby grows there. Word Girl and … Continue reading →